Regular Dosage: How to be thrown off by the musings of a child

I remember a few months back, I was at a family friend's house and was looking after their daughter while the 'adults' chatted in another room. She was about two and a half at this time, maybe closer to three years old. We were playing with the coasters on the coffee table (riveting game play, I know, but she seemed engaged), stacking them high, building different shapes.

Amidst the repetition of our game, she stopped giggling for a second and looked at me. She asked me, 'Are you happy, Stephanie?'

I replied easily, 'Yes, are you happy?'

'Yes!' she squealed and threw all the coasters in the air. 'I'm always happy! Why are you happy?'

Ah. Now I've been suddenly thrown into the therapist's couch and I'm being psycho-analysed by a little girl under the age of three. And damn, she had me there. I think in that moment, my response was probably offhand - 'Because I'm playing with you!' 'Because dessert is nearly ready!' 'Because I'm having fun!'

And of course, those are all valid reasons to be happy. It's 100% truth that my happiness increases tenfold when I remember that dessert still awaits. But leaving their house later that night and driving home, the questions just kept repeating in my head. At the time, my parents and sister were both on separate holidays, leaving me alone to blast bad pop songs and fall asleep on the couch without being woken up at 5:30am by the coffee machine. But, you know, it also left me to write lists and scribble words, rifle through pages and scroll through old writing.

And I think most of the time, it's easy enough to say, 'Yeah, I'm happy today.' But sometimes, it's really, really hard to say that honestly, and to then be able to rack up reasons for your happiness. I know that I'm grateful for a lot of things (my house, food, money, water, clothing, safety, family) and that remains a constant. But sometimes my happiness fluctuates. Sometimes there are days when if that little girl were to pop up randomly and ask me, 'Are you happy, Stephanie? Why are you happy?' I'd be unable to answer either of them. 

Regular Dosage: Hello 2014!

And we're already two weeks in! Crazy. Two weeks into the new year means two weeks closer to getting back to uni, and that makes me cry tears of sorrow and joy. Sorrow because assignments and exams and hello again to late nights reading pointless essays and joy because it's my final, FINAL year of uni! Soon my fifth year will be done and dusted, and I can't wait. I'm planning on finding a full-time or another part-time job this year while I'm studying this year, as most of my classes are night classes and I really need to start saving some dollars. My part-time job at the moment is sufficient, but I think I could really use some experience before I start teaching next year. The bonus is that I already have a Bachelor's degree under my belt as qualification so hopefully I'll be able to find something good, and not too crappy (sick of retail so much).

I have several goals for this year. Some academic, some personal, but all of which I am going to try my hardest to achieve.

1. Find a part-time or full-time job.

2. Strive to complete uni work a few days before each due date to prevent stress and anxiety attacks.

3. TRY and attend all lectures.

4. Find a volunteer job during the holidays (community centre, museum programs, charity work)

5. Lose weight! Keep fit and eat healthier every day. Less chocolate. (That broke my heart to type).

6. BE HAPPY and BE POSITIVE! (Something I've always struggled with).

7. Read more of the unread books on my every growing bookshelf.

8. Save and earn more money. This includes spending less on outings, food, clothing and makeup, transport, phone bills etc.

9. Create better and stronger connections with various groups of friends. (Youth group, younger kids and the leaders too, high school friends, uni friends, work friends, family, boyfriend).

10. Finally - blog more often! I always have a heap to write, but I really wish there was a better Blogger app maybe more similar to the Tumblr app, which is incredibly easy to navigate... Excuses 101!

So here we go 2014! I already started the day with an hour long, 5.65km walk and a healthy lunch, and then lounged around reading in this 31 degree weather so I'm feeling good!

Rest in Peace, Nelson Mandela.

To one of the greatest men who ever walked this earth. To a man who was compassionate, strong and inspiring. A genuinely good man, who sought after the most honorable of dreams - a world of equality and justice for all. A man who never stopped believing in this dream, and spoke of the prospects of a better world for all his years.

Words cannot express the sorrow and heartache that many feel, knowing of your passing. You changed this world, and the lives of so many I know. I remember seeing the prison cell that held you for 27 years, and not being able to fathom how someone could emerge from that miscarriage of justice not bitter - but empowered. You were South Africa's hope for redemption. Our hope that one day we may all be perceived not by the color of our skin, but seen as equals. I truly believe that my family would not be living in Australia if it weren't for your great passion, and your great rule of a land locked in disparity.

One is not able to walk the earth forever. But your words, dreams and influence will forever inspire generations to come.

Rest in peace, Nelson Mandela.

1918-2013.

Blah blah blogging

Oh my goodness, what a year it's been. First year of Masters, and we finally finished semester, which is a massive relief. Results come out soon, but um, let's just ignore that fact and allow me to live in ignorant bliss for now.

I spent the whole day redesigning this blog and tweaking the layout and I'm finally pleased with it. I'm really keen to get back into blogging regularly and properly and I think the pretty layout will help to increase motivation, haha.

Below the photo on the right, there are several links to social media sites that I have profiles on. (Instagram, YouTube, Tumblr). Let's do this!